Imagine a situation in which you would like your child to do something but he or she refuses or just does not do it without even refusing.  Ok, no imagination is needed.  If you have children or you have lived with another human of any age, you have all the examples you need.  People do not do what we want all the time and those people includes adults (friends, partners, relatives), adolescents, and children.  It even includes us—often we do not engage in the behaviors we want ourselves to do—maybe exercise more, eat less of a certain food, and so on.  Behavior change is a fascinating topic and there are several techniques that are effective based on excellent science.  I will refer to some of [...]

We have learned by now that one of the best ways to protect ourselves and others from the coronavirus is to distance ourselves physically from people and to stay at home with only occasional outings for essentials.  These practices translate to being confined to our homes all day and all night, sometimes without the ability to go out for a walk. The impact of confinement on our mental health can vary greatly based on all sorts of factors including the physical space of the home or apartment, the number of people in the home, their ages and ability to function independently, amount of caregiving that is needed, whether and how much home schooling is needed, resources for connecting with the outside world, and many other [...]

Parents often are concerned about their children’s motivation and ability to focus on and stay with a task to achieve a goal.  In fact, surveys show that most parents, among diverse ethnic groups and income levels, want their children to be hardworking. Clearly, parents have recognized the importance of characteristics such a persistence.  Scientific research has shown that the ability to persist on tasks toward a goal, sometimes referred to as “grit,” predicts all sorts of favorable outcomes years later. Whether measured by questionnaires in which parents are asked to characterize their children or by directly observing how children perform on difficult or challenging tasks, we have learned that persistence makes a difference in life.  Individuals who are higher in persistence are more likely to [...]

As the new year is beginning, many of us begin to think about what changes we can make in our lives.  Parenting is such an important job, and we often hope that we are being the best parents we can be. Punishment for misbehavior comes so naturally to us.  We barely even think about it in part because our brain is hard wired to pick up negative behaviors (not listening, arguing) and do something about them, much more than it is to notice positive behaviors (following directions, playing nicely) and do something about those. Despite our inclination, punishment is not very helpful in accomplishing our goals as parents (or in society) when that goal is just to get rid of some behavior. Maybe the single [...]