It’s time for school, but the kids aren’t ready. You yell, “Get in the car!” Nothing happens. You yell again. And again. And again. Sound familiar? Want it to change? uh-PARENT-ly cohosts Tracy Weiner and Anne Johnsos talk to Dr. Alan Kazdin, Sterling Professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry at Yale, about the negative effects of yelling and how to get what you want without raising your voice.
Dr. Alan Kazdin recounts how he came to be a psychologist and discusses where his emphasis is now: studying models of treatment delivery with the idea of completely changing who, and how many, can access treatment. He notes that "most people in need of psychological help receive no treatment." This is based on current delivery models. He's hoping to find ways to make delivery scalable and accessible, overcoming the current inherent limits.
Parents often are concerned about their children’s motivation and ability to focus on and stay with a task to achieve a goal. In fact, surveys show that most parents, among diverse ethnic groups and income levels, want their children to be hardworking. Clearly, parents have recognized the importance of characteristics such a persistence. Scientific research has shown that the ability to persist on tasks toward a goal, sometimes referred to as “grit,” predicts all sorts of favorable outcomes years later. Whether measured by questionnaires in which parents are asked to characterize their children or by directly observing how children perform on difficult or challenging tasks, we have learned that persistence makes a difference in life. Individuals who are higher in persistence are more likely to [...]
An enormous challenge for parents is the monitoring, oversight, and control of the digital and social world of children and adolescents. The challenge is daunting because: That world includes all sorts of technology (smartphones and watches, tablets, game consoles, voice-activated everything); There is a vast range of activities and resources that one can do with these devices (play video games, pursue educational activities, learn to prepare recipes or how to make or use various weapons); Children and adolescents have a social world at their fingertips and use of a social network portfolio that includes various apps (Facebook, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tumbir, Flickr, Xing, Renren, Google+, Disqus) to connect with friends, relatives, strangers, predators, and others; Young people rely heavily on these applications as a [...]
Many parents report that their child lies and they are frustrated with what to do about it. Understandably parents are concerned. The child may be getting into trouble at school and getting other people into trouble by lying about who did what when. Also, parents may catch a child lying at home and that can be very bothersome. We would all like our children to be honest and we worry whether lying is some slippery slope leading to a barrage of other deceitful behaviors. For most children, there is no slippery slope and lying either is not a problem or not an enduring problem. There are extreme cases where excessive lying can be part of a larger set of behaviors that includes aggression against peers [...]
Flexibility in your parenting can be very important. While most of us consider ourselves to be flexible, so much of parenting seems to require NOT being flexible, so let us consider how this could work. Raising children seems to require that a parent has fixed rules that should not be compromised. So many issues, such as bedtime, homework, and the morning routine, require structure and consistency. Whether the home and these routines run smoothly or work at all depends on structure and parent consistency; however, it's important to know that flexibility is not the absence of structure. Flexibility merely refers to being able to change your view, approach, and rules once in a while in relation to something your child would like. It reflects the [...]
“There’s no need to change your life to use every single one of the techniques for every situation. But if you’re sick of lecturing, threatening, and punishing, you can make life less stressful by reaching for one or more of the tools.”
— The Everyday Parenting Toolkit